I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
I woke up and he had cut my bangs and put makeup on me.
I don't care how good they make you look, you've got to stop sleeping with gay guys.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
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Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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