I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
What is your life?
A tangled mess of finals and bad decisions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Would you like to get a drink then hook up or reverse order I don't really care. Hopefully you can keep this between us.
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
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