what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
I'll probably regret it tomorrow. But right now, accepting this $2000 credit card so that I can finance booty calls from across the united states sounds like a golden idea.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Randomize
