I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I enjoy the company of your penis
The neighbors in the apartment above us are at it again. The roleplay this time is cop and prostitute. I give it 30 minutes, you? Already sounds better than the last one
Randomize
