So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
our cab driver is having phone sex.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
the protein jug says add 2 scoops to your favorite beverage. guess who just found a way to make sam adams healthy? THIS GUY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize