Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Dude if I didn't piss myself last night I dont think I would have woke up in time for work.
I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
Randomize
