when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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