I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
