can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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