Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are bruises on the top of my foot. The pole won.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Randomize