sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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