I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I feel like a drive thru vagina
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
