If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
I think im gonna bang this 35 year old at a kids birthday party in the bathroom at this house while the kids open the presents.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
