god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
All you need to know is that isn't jizz
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
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