Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
