yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
