PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
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I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
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Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
i out mim tonsoeep
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