He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
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