My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
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Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
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He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
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