is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
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