on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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