He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
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