you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
