I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
