So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
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Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
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I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me