Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard