I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms