it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
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that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
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Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist