He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
Your cock deserves a montage
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
