So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your vagain smells worse when im sober.
sorry, worng number
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
He offered to take my unemployed self out for drinks, but I really just want him to buy me the Beyoncé album
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
There are leaves in my underwear?
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