Your mouth is God's brothel.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
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