My room smells like vodka and shame
I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Rumble strips road head = magical
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
Randomize
