It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
