Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Getting a smaller wine glass hasn’t changed the amount I drink—it just means I get more steps each day. Cheers to health!
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