I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Ok well i was gonna say you can only borrow my fog machine if you will use it to emerge from your room in a cloud of smoke after having sex with sarah, so yeah we're good
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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