I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
Have you seen my high heels that I wore out?
You mean the one that you threw at the parked cop car or the one in the microwave?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
I don't know, Alex. I don't know. I lost my keys, my debit card, my makeup bag, broke my purse, had to have someone cut my shoe off, I have no idea where my costume is. I woke up next to the biggest douchebag I know and made out with this other guy while SIMULTANEOUSLY talking on the phone to the guy I'm talking to...
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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