he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Randomize
