i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
The line was so long at Kum n Go some guy opened & drank 2 beers from his 12 pack while waiting.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
