I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Dude, I passed out on the side walk, lost my phone and shirt, and walked 12 miles home after I disappeared from the club
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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