My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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