i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
Randomize
