And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I tried to discuss modern art with a cab driver after explaining that I only had one shoe on b/c a pitbull ate the other one. Wtf. Call me when you can.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
Randomize
