I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
So I should just walk in, look him in the eye and say, "I just came to fuck your brother, nice to meet you" and just walk to your room.
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
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