so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
there was a trapeze. enough said
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
a search helicopter?!
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
In other news, I just burned my penis
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Randomize
