Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
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