Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The only thing i ask you for is vegan food and sex.
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
