Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(509): View more from Washington

Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you

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(416): View more from Ontario

I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her

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(913): View more from Kansas

so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?

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(905): View more from Ontario

She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up

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(617): View more from Massachusetts

the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands

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(+49): View more from Germany

Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.

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(610): View more from Pennsylvania

I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out

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(217): View more from Illinois

totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change

(1-217): View more from Illinois

don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class

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