Texts From Last Night

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  (979): View more from Texas

  I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed

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  (979): I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed http://tfl.nu/k1m0
  Replies (19) Good night (4806) Bad night (707)
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  (216): View more from Ohio

  For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;

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  (216): For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan; http://tfl.nu/zp6w
  Replies (82) Good night (900) Bad night (4432)
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  (904): View more from Florida

  I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.

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  (904): I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester. http://tfl.nu/arpr
  Replies (9) Good night (1212) Bad night (2905)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?

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  (443): hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"? http://tfl.nu/cmo1
  Replies (23) Good night (1436) Bad night (5631)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying

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  (404): He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying http://tfl.nu/0ccm
  Replies (8) Good night (3438) Bad night (4197)
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  (270): View more from Kentucky

  Don't worry. I has chaperone.

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  (270): Don't worry. I has chaperone. http://tfl.nu/r0c5
  Replies (24) Good night (6254) Bad night (1312)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job

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  (413): I found a wheel chair. there is now a high chance im going to be fired from this job http://tfl.nu/ruqn
  Replies (13) Good night (3981) Bad night (1099)
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  (+31): View more from The Netherlands

  bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.

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  (+31): bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left. http://tfl.nu/sy8j
  Replies (18) Good night (1571) Bad night (6565)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"

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  (336): By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student" http://tfl.nu/w2vs
  Replies (10) Good night (2706) Bad night (627)
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  (307): View more from Wyoming

  Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.

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  (307): Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick. http://tfl.nu/ynec
  Replies (15) Good night (2371) Bad night (612)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct

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  (207): my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct http://tfl.nu/asi5
  Replies (0) Good night (531) Bad night (446)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.

  (503): View more from Oregon

  Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!

  (360): View more from Washington

  A cheater.

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  (360): If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me. (503): Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?! (360): A cheater. http://tfl.nu/8n8b
  Replies (20) Good night (1229) Bad night (500)
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?

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  (804): Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics? http://tfl.nu/u5k0
  Replies (2) Good night (486) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway

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  (602): A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway http://tfl.nu/aupy
  Replies (0) Good night (591) Bad night (315)
• Favorite

  (848): View more from New Jersey

  Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.

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  (848): Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem. http://tfl.nu/e34z
  Replies (2) Good night (513) Bad night (986)

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