Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Contemplating These 27 Questions Will Make Your Brain Explode
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
25 People Confess The Most Shocking Things They’ve Ever Seen In Public
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life