Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
God, you're like boner-b-gone
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
