Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
Just realized i left my bra at his house. WHY do i suck at one night stands?!
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
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