u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Even my vagina gasped.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
