I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
