She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Randomize
