shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
Randomize
