You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Its what jesus would do if there were bud light in his time. I feel obligated.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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