I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
someone in the elevator just told me i looked like a struggle but i smell very pretty..
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
