so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
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