Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
It's just like the Real World with babies
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She has the best kind of daddy issues
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
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