I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
just gave another girl i passed on the walk of shame a high five
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
