Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Randomize
