was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
UGH FUCK THIS TRAFFIC I WANNA SUCK A DICK
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
I kicked down a wall in rage and found a door behind the drywall. Once again vandalism solves all my problems.
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
