Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
