I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
All I know is that at 4 am I was walking down the street in my bra and his shorts and Im pretty sure I passed my grandma on her morning walk.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
