Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
It says something about our relationship that he stole your phone to tell me about his dick at 3am and neither of us realized that wasn't you until just now
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize