If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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