I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
