i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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