I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I have so many feelings about this burrito
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
